This phrase was once thought to be an ancient Chinese curse, but it turns out that Chinese scholars have never heard of it.

The origin of the phrase seems to be a science fiction short story, U-Turn, a sci-fi short story by Duncan Munro written in 1950. Perhaps he foresaw the horror to come, or perhaps he had an inkling from a birth that occurred in 1947. But there may be a Chinese connection after all. You see, the Chinese Zodiac runs on a twelve-year cycle. The year 1947 was the Year of the Pig.

The Year of the Pig: You are a splendid companion, an intellectual with a very strong need to set difficult goals and carry them out. You are sincere, tolerant, and honest but by expecting the same from others, you are incredibly naive. Your quest for material goods could be your downfall. The Pig would be best in the arts as an entertainer, or possibly a lawyer.

Somehow, the above seems an apt description of the Horror From Political Space, the Creature From the Yale Lagoon, A Nightmare on Pennsylvania Avenue, Her Royal Foulness Hillary. Let’s take it one section at a time.

“You are a splendid companion,…” I think Bill can attest to that. After all, she stayed with him while he was in the White House, being “serviced” in the Oval Office. Of course, there are stories about similar activities in Arkansas, but nothing that was proven in a court of law. And, since she’s now running for the whole shebang, she’ll be looking for a “splendid companion” to share the ticket with her. Who gets tapped? Algore, the Guru of Global Warming? John Kerry, the Ketchup King? Or, (dare we say it?) Obama-rama the Ding-Dong? Stay tuned to her demented mind to find out.

“…an intellectual with a very strong need to set difficult goals and carry them out.” Remember the Hillary Health Care Plan? If she gets elected, expect it to rise from the dead, like an inadequately pinned Dracula, having her remove the stake from its heart and rising from the coffin to set its fangs into the taxpayers wallet. And the Hilidiot and her blind followers will applaud the monster flying through the night, draining the Middle Class dry, with no Van Heilsing around to kill it again. By the way, a cross will be no protection, “separation of church and state” will see to that.

“You are sincere…” Yes, she’s sincere. She believes sincerely that, should she glue cinnamon buns to the sides of her head, she’ll be seen as the Princess Leia Orgasm of the twenty-first century. “May the Farce be with you”, and it certainly shall if she ends up piloting the ship of state.

“…tolerant,” No one can accuse her of not being tolerant. Not if you know what’s good for you. She tolerates almost anything but conservative talk radio, some commentators on the Fox network, and anything having anything to do with Bush. I do think it’s an unsubstantiated rumor that she’s shaved herself “down there” to remove any hint of “bush”.

“…and honest…” Well, no zodiac is 100% infallible. I will say this; Hillary knows honesty when she sees it, she’s just not very well acquainted with it.

“…but by expecting the same from others, you are incredibly naive.” She expects the world to be sincerely tolerant of her, and to honestly worship her. But I’m not so sure she’s naïve. I think it’s more like “You WILL worship her, if you know what’s good for you!!!”.

“Your quest for material goods could be your downfall.” Now a lot of people would disagree with this, pointing out that a lot of things disappeared from the White House when BJ Billy moved out, and George “No border I can’t ignore” moved in. But, outside of some newsprint challenges and counter-challenges, nothing was really done about Light Fingered Hilly and the Anklepants Gang. However, the downfall predicted here could very well be her quest for votes. 

How will blacks deal with her challenge to Obama-rama? She’ll get lots of pro-choice women on her side, but will some of them defect in the primaries to vote black?

The liberals are putting up the potential first black President (although I thought Bill had that title) against the potential first woman President (although sweetpants Jimmy C. might have that title, considering the rabbit incident). But then there’s the problem of whether Hillereek! Could be considered a female President. She appeared to be mentally better hung than her husband, and she DID try to join the Marines. Wisely, they turned her away, probably after pointing out that the Marine Corps Builds Men by starting with boys, not girls. Must have broke her heart. (If she has one)

“The Pig would be best in the arts as an entertainer, or possibly a lawyer.” Can you see The Incredible Hilk in the entertainment industry? Perhaps she could be part of a duo with Barbara Strident, or Rosie O’Dumbwhale. Problem is, one would has expectations that a Hollyweird entertainer would have at least a modicum of talent. I know her erstwhile husband plays the sax (or is that sex?) but I’ve never seen her playing a musical instrument. (Playing the New Yorkers that voted for her for the suckers they are doesn’t count) And being a moron doesn’t count as a talent. Moronic commentary and behavior does seem to be a trait shared by many of the Hollyweird elite, however. The other thing entertainers have going for them, those without talent that is, is sex appeal. For those of you men reading this, look at a picture of Hillary and imagine spending the night with her.

Done vomiting? Well, while you all clean yourselves up…

For those of you ladies, think of her as your competition.

OK, men, we’ll wait until the ladies cease their hysterical laughter.

Now, thing about Hillerlawdog as a lawyer. As a matter of fact, hope for it. Somewhere in the Midwest, defending DUI’s in a small town, with the occasional will drawn up…

Right now, her alternative is this:

Ladies and Gentlemen, the President of the United States, Hillary Rodham Clinton.

Folks, if you’re not registered to vote, do it NOW! Don’t wait until 2008. To misquote an old quotation: “She is the slime that tries men’s souls…”

Copyright January 20, 2007, by Dave Hoffman.

Dave Hoffman is a staff writer for http://capitolhillcoffeehouse.com/ Dave works in security for a Federal installation in the Ft. Worth/Dallas Metroplex. He’s a greatgrandfather, a rabid conservative, and likes to write about things from a different perspective. He’s retired from the military and a Viet Nam vet. He lives with his wife “Princess” and his dog “Cappuccino”, both of whom he adores.